Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Yo momma so fat it's not even funny anymore.
Yo mama is so fat Jesus can't hold her holy spirit.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.