Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?"
Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Yo momma so fat it's not even funny anymore.
Yo mama is so fat Jesus can't hold her holy spirit.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
A: Cheez Whuz.