When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
Q: Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like? A: Cavrone puta puta puta.
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.