Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
What do you call a black pilot flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.