Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
What do you call a black pilot flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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