Best jokes ever

One cure for a cold consists of three shots of whisky. There are better remedies, but most people don’t want to hear them.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
A family doctor is seeing an 80 year old patient for the first time. She tells him, “Since this is your first time here, I’d like to get a little history on you. Who’s been your regular doctor up till now?” The man says, “I don’t remember saying I’ve ever been to the doctor.” The doctor is astonished. “What? You’ve never been to a doctor?” The man says, “Nope. Never needed one before.” “That’s remarkable,” she says. “But there must be a family doctor somewhere. What about your father when he was alive. Who was the family doctor?” “I don’t remember saying my father had passed away.” “Oh, I’m sorry! You’re father’s still alive? He must be at least a hundred.” “Yep. ‘Bout that. And he’s never been to the doctor either.” She says, “Well that’s one impressive bloodline you have there. What an amazing family. But there’s got to be a doctor in the history somewhere. What about your grandfather when he was alive? Who was the family doctor?” “I don’t remember saying my grandfather had passed away.” “Oh come on now, you must be kidding! Your grandfather is still alive? He’d have to be at least 120!” “Yep, ‘Bout that. And he’s never been to the doctor either. But I think he’s gonna have to go soon. He’s getting married next week.” “What?" she says. "Oh now surely you’re joking. Getting married? Imagine being 120 years old and wanting to get married!” The old man looks at her and says, “I don’t remember saying he WANTED to get married."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: old people
Your momma so fat... All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Your Momma"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo mama so skinny... She turned sideways and dissapeared
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is: A miracle
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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