Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet? Identification.
Why do black people lean to the center of their car? "They think the smell is coming from the outside."
Why do nigger's have nightmares? Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist