Best jokes ever

A housewife buys a parrot to keep her company during the day. The clerk warns that the parrot was donated by a brothel, where he may have picked up some colorful language. The housewife doesn't mind and brings the parrot home. When she uncovers the cage, the parrot says, "Brawkk! New Madam. Hello Madam." When her three daughters come home from school, the parrot says, "Brawkk! New Girls. Hello Girls." Finally, her husband, Phil, comes home from work, just in time for dinner. When he walks past the parrot, the parrot says, "Brawkk! Hi Phil!"
Vote: has 43.46 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, parrot
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
Vote: has 43.44 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
Vote: has 43.43 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV? A: His brother with a VCR.
Vote: has 43.43 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Vote: has 43.42 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 43.42 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole? You swerve to miss a pothole!
Vote: has 43.40 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
The anniversary of 9/11 approaches and I don't usually buy in to conspiracy theories, but did you spot that if you add 9 and 11 you get 20. And that is curiously the average IQ of an American
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist