If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
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A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds.
One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around.
As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?"
She laughs and gets in his bed.
When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again.
Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."
I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
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When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Yo' sister is so ugly, I thought she was Yo' Mama.
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A: A lazy b*tch.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
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The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day.
So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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