Best jokes ever

What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Yo momma’s so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
When I was born, everyone was so happy. Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
I need your help making a cream sauce.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris