John: How old are you?
Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7
John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
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Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the library to get an application for a library card they said: "I need your ID" she gave them an EBT card.
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.