Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background. Move all of their icons to the trash. When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she taped toilet paper to her TV set for free paper view.
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed whereas in college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
Yo mama is so ugly she made the ugliest person in the world cry.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.