The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life.
There can be only one.
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Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house?
The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
The Reapers in the Mass Effect series were actually Chuck Norris' baby toys.
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.
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Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the library to get an application for a library card they said: "I need your ID" she gave them an EBT card.