Best jokes ever

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, work
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, music, sex
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, science
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 46.11 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
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