Yo momma’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
I drink so much alcohol I’m afraid to smoke.
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
How do you join the police? Handcuff them together.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.? A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.