Best jokes ever

Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, light bulb, sex, Yo mama
As I stand here, and try to piss, I think of the gal that gave me this. If I see her, when I get well, I'll get it again. As sure as Hell.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dog, wife, women
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, political, republican
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, old people, time
<<<1058105910601061
More jokes →
Page 1058 of 1391.