A rather drunk man was walking along the street one day. He was staggering quite a bit and made two nuns that were approaching him, very nervous. The two nuns split apart and one walked to the man's left and one walked to the man's right. After the nuns were past the man, he turned around and said, "Now how the hell did she do that?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.
A teacher walks into her classroom and turns to the children and says, Today kids im going to ask you what job your daddy has! She turns to the first child and says, What job dose your daddy have tina?? She replies; he is a carpenter miss. The teacher turns to the next child and repeats the question...the child says he is the head of a multi-organic food chain. Very good indeed says miss..........she turns to the next child and says. What job does your daddy have Robert?? He replies... He's a male prostitute miss; and demands 50 quid. No,No,No your lying to me Robert i can tell! Ok then miss you got me i confess......................................... HE PLAYS RUGBY FOR ENGLAND BUT IM TO ASHAMED TO SAY!!!
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
A young woman all excited called up her local police department and said, "I have a sex maniac in my apartment!" The officer at the other end said, "We'll be right over lady." The woman said, "Can you wait till morning?"
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year's hide and seek champion.
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.