A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.