A man is on his deathbed. ‘Grant me one last wish, my dear,’ he gasps pitifully to his wife. ‘Six months after I die I want you to marry Joe.’ ‘But I thought you hated Joe,’ says his wife. ‘I do,’ says the man.
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
What are the similarities between a new wife and a tornado, there's a lot of suckin and blowin and then u lose ur house.
Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.