Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game."
"What's your word?" the host
replied.
"Bored out of my mind," said the caller.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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