Best jokes ever

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston. As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked. "This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: military
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men
A man is on his deathbed. ‘Grant me one last wish, my dear,’ he gasps pitifully to his wife. ‘Six months after I die I want you to marry Joe.’ ‘But I thought you hated Joe,’ says his wife. ‘I do,’ says the man.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor
What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: marriage
How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
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