What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
A junior partner in a law firm is sent to represent a client accused of murder. After a long trial, the case is won and the client acquitted. The young lawyer telegraphs his firm with the message, ‘Justice prevailed’. The senior partner telegraphs back, ‘Appeal immediately’.
If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Yo mommas so black that when she walked outside the street lights turned on.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
You mama's so skinny... she can hang glide with a dorito!