Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
Where to birds invest their money?
In the stork market!
Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
We call my father-in-law the exorcist.
Every time he visits he rids the house of spirits.
Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing?
Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.