Best jokes ever

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
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Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 48.38 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, marriage, sex
As I stand here, and try to piss, I think of the gal that gave me this. If I see her, when I get well, I'll get it again. As sure as Hell.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
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More jokes about: car, money, political, republican
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
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More jokes about: blonde, doctor
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
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They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
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More jokes about: school
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
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Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, old people, time
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, death, husband, marriage


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