My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Q: Why are black ladies pocket books so big? A: They have to put their lipstick some where.
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.