How are vending machines and black men similar? They don't work but they take your money.
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business!
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
Why was the math textbook so sad? He had a lot of problems!
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
Q: You know what would make America great again? A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.