Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
What is the difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.