Best jokes ever

A man is on his deathbed. ‘Grant me one last wish, my dear,’ he gasps pitifully to his wife. ‘Six months after I die I want you to marry Joe.’ ‘But I thought you hated Joe,’ says his wife. ‘I do,’ says the man.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, Facebook
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, game
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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has 45.08 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
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