Best jokes ever

What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
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has 45.26 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white one? A: White one starts like "once upon a time" Black one starts like " y'all muthaf*ckas gotta here dis"
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has 45.26 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black people, life
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
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has 45.25 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: birthday, chocolate, food, kids, mean
Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot.
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has 45.25 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: kids
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
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has 45.25 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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has 45.25 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 45.24 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
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has 45.24 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 45.24 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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