The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.
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There's a blonde walking down a trail.
She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left.
She sees another blonde on the other side.
She asks her "how do you get to the other side?"
The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!
Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ".
Ramu: I is...
Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am."
Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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What is the difference between marriage and death?
Dead people are free.
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.
“The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the
father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”