Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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