Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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