What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
The car salesman can probably drive!
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
What’s the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
I am currently experiencing an out-of-money experience.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
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This guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the guy and says" Have you seen Eileen?"
The guy is rather confused and asked " Eileen who?"
The bartender relies, "I lean over and you kiss my butt."
Well the man was offended by this and walks out the door and into the bar across the street.
So he sits down and orders a beer.
While he is drinking his beer he tells the bartender what the other bartender said to him.
The bartender then told him," You know what you should do, you should go back over there and ask him if he has seen Ben and when he says Ben who you say I bend over and you kiss my butt.
So the guy goes back across the street and asks the Bartender if he has seen Ben.
And the Bartender said " Yep, He just went out the door with Eileen."
The guy asks" Eileen who?
The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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