When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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3 bums were outside a bar.
The first one went in and asked for a fork.
The second one went in and also asked for a fork.
Then the third one went in and wanted a straw.
At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
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Chuck Norris Watches "the Nat.Geo. Specials" on Discovery Channel.
What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.