Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
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How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Why do cows like being told joke?
Because they like being amoosed.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.
Then they heard voices.
Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police.
The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.
The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again.
He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!"
In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!
One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them.
" The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."