When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Vote:
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Vote:
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Answer: A widow.
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert.
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."