Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.