A woman is chatting with her friends when she points at a man in the street, ‘That’s my nextdoor neighbour. He’s an alcoholic!’
One of her friends asks, ‘How do you know that?’
The woman replies, ‘Yesterday he was at the bar drinking next to me all night.'
Yo momma’s so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records.
The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’
‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man.
‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
Yo Mama so old...
She's got the first autographed Koran.
Yo momma is so fat she was walking down the street, tripped and broke her leg and gravy rolled out.
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she's going to be in trouble when the baboon wants its ass back.