Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
Q: Who is the saddest grandma in the world?
A: Grandma of a vegan.
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Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.