When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Vote:
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Answer: A widow.
"Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!"
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog.
They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!"
But the man protested and replied:
"No, no, he isn't that clever.
I'm leading by three games to one!"
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Vote:
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation:
"I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.
The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Why did god make beer?
So the Irish would not take over the world.