Best jokes ever

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
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More jokes about: women
How did they know that the driver had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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More jokes about: black humor
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
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More jokes about: car, death, military
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
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More jokes about: animal, game
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, drunk, money
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
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More jokes about: food
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A couple come across a wishing well. The husband leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The wife makes a wish too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns. The husband says, ‘Wow! It really works!’
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More jokes about: marriage
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris