Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Vote:
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Vote:
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money.
Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
You WILL be a winner today.
Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen.
One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said.
‘And I know what we are going to name it, too.
If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
He: So then, what's your sign?
She: Dollar.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Shit!" says the ant.
"One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
"Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!"