That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes?
A dumb bunny.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Vote:
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Vote:
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money.
Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert.
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed,
"You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."