Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Answer: A widow.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Vote:
What color socks do bears wear?
(They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Vote:
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Vote:
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money.
Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
You WILL be a winner today.
Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen.
One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said.
‘And I know what we are going to name it, too.
If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
He: So then, what's your sign?
She: Dollar.