Best jokes ever

When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.
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What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Vote: has 39.38 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
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More jokes about: dirty
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
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More jokes about: dirty, fish
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head. "How many times did you hit her?" "I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."
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More jokes about: cop, wife
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Vote: has 39.34 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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More jokes about: men, sport, technology, time
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
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More jokes about: blonde
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire. "Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
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More jokes about: dating, disgusting