What did one skunk say to another?
And so do you.
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
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Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop.
She holds up the mirror and looks in it.
Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you."
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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