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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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More jokes about: animal
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.
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More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, wife
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
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More jokes about: doctor, marriage
One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor. "I’m sorry," said the mayor, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
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More jokes about: marriage
When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: cop
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
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More jokes about: dirty
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
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More jokes about: dirty, fish