Best jokes ever

Children brought up on a farm are often quite precocious. A nun gave a lecture on the facts of life to the combined classes one day. She thought the tiny tots would hardly know what her talk was all about so she left them in the classroom. After a while she noticed little five year old Johnnie whispering with a little four year old Jane and she asked Johnnie what was the meaning of their whispering. Johnnie stood up and asked, "Please sister, can a woman of four have a baby?" "Of course not," answered the sister, quite flustered. Johnnie turned to the little girl beside him and said, "Didn’t I tell you, you had nothing to worry about."
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has 80.85 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: kids
A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers. They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl.When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter; “Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?” “No Papa,” replied the girl with a grin, “I managed to hide it when they were searching you.” “Hide it? where?” asked the guy,” I saw them search you too.” “I slipped it into my… a… my . . .um…. pee pee place. ”said the girl shyly. “Damn!” swore the guy, “If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!”
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has 80.85 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, teen
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
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has 80.84 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: car, military
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
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has 80.83 % from 275 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women, work
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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has 80.83 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: communication, cowboy, football, money, sport
Josh: What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning? John: A visitor.
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has 80.82 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: women
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
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has 80.81 % from 3116 votes. More jokes about: duck, money, Yo mama
A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's going on and his mother tells him, "We are making fishsticks". The next day the kid says, "Mom were you making fishsticks again?" And she says "Why, yes, how did you know, honey?" And the kid replies, "Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth."
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has 80.80 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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has 80.80 % from 412 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
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has 80.79 % from 2941 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
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