Best jokes ever

How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.
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has 80.94 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: black humor
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
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has 80.94 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Recruits got a shock when their Army basic-training instructor turned out to be an attractive female sergeant. Her assistant, however, was a burly, hawk-nosed veteran whose glare could freeze water. At the end of training, the attractive instructor congratulated the recruits and said that if there was anything she could do for us, just ask. From the back, a voice called out, "How about a kiss from the sergeant?" "Sure," she replied, raising her hand to quell the laughter. "But I'll let my assistant take care of it!"
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has 80.94 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: military, women
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.
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has 80.94 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: life
I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang". I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."
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has 80.93 % from 557 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, internet
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
Girl Cop: "You have to right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be used against you." Guy: "Boobs!"
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has 80.92 % from 613 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
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has 80.92 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: car, computer, IT, science
Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little attention." Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can!"
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has 80.91 % from 363 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border. The next day, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle. This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?" Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
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has 80.91 % from 680 votes. More jokes about: beer, cop, mexican
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