Best jokes ever

They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Vote:
has 80.71 % from 489 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Vote:
has 80.71 % from 302 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, drug
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
Vote:
has 80.69 % from 755 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Vote:
has 80.67 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, women
Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little attention." Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can!"
Vote:
has 80.67 % from 364 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?". His teacher replies "NO" Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me". "OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies. Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger". She again says "NO". "But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again. "Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher. Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON" Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
Vote:
has 80.64 % from 2047 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, sex, teacher
Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
Vote:
has 80.63 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What's Mexicos National sport? Cross Country.
Vote:
has 80.63 % from 1831 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, travel
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent: "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati." "I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent. "That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."
Vote:
has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: airplane, customer service, geography, travel
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
Vote:
has 80.62 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women, work
<<<109110111112
More jokes →
Page 109 of 1429.