They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
Chuck Norris discovered America.
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.