Best jokes ever

Things our family enjoys together without anyone complaining: 1.
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has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: family, life
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
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has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
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has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, women
Hitler conquering another village while ww2 and he decided to give a chance for every woman in this village to save their families. He made all men to stand naked one next to another in stright line and every woman have to find her husband by doing them bl*wjob. First woman starts to suck and saying: "Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, Mine!" It's turn out that she was right so they could walk away free. Second woman starts to suck: "Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, MINE!" True again so Hitler was deeply surprised and decided to stand in line between men of village. Third woman starts to doing her job and saying: "Not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine...."
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has 80.61 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket. The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!" Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?" The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
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has 80.61 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, life, work
I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
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has 80.61 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, money, sex, women
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
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has 80.61 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, christian, communication, religious, time
At a parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..." Officer: Yes? Inmate: I think I have.. Officer: Go on. Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence? Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about:
If the customer is always right, then why isn't everything free?
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: customer service, money
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
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has 80.60 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids, wife
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