Best jokes ever

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating." The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate." Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life." The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate." Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."
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More jokes about: communication, life, little Johnny, student, teacher
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Vote: has 80.40 % from 171 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
How can you tell a black guy has been on your computer? It's not there.
Vote: has 80.40 % from 787 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken.
Vote: has 80.37 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, death, morbid
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
Vote: has 80.37 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris