Q: Why are politicians like diapers? A: Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? A: Dracula's dentist.
Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
Are shellfish warm? No they re clammy.
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.