Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
Always remember: There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.