Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia.
‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor.
‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer.
‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one.
‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’
‘Well,’ says the other.
‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’
A policeman has just stopped a drunk driver and given him a breathalyser test.
‘I’m sorry, sir,’ says the policeman.
‘But this bag tells me you’ve been drinking too much.’
‘What a coincidence!’ exclaims the driver.
‘I’ve got a bag at home that does the exactly the same thing!'
Yo momma’s so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Yo momma is so fat she was walking down the street, tripped and broke her leg and gravy rolled out.
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.