Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she's going to be in trouble when the baboon wants its ass back.
Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
Yo' Mama is so fat, she got stuck in the great outdoors.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she couldn't identify a picture of her feet.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
How do you keep 5 black guys from raping a white girl? Throw them a basketball.
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.