A man orders a pint of beer, notices it tastes sour and complains to the barman. ‘What are you moaning about?’ says the barman. ‘You’ve only got a pint of that rubbish, I’ve got three barrels full.’
Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer? He liked cold hard cash!
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
They say about money that you can’t take it with you. I can’t even afford to go.
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.