Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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