Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop.
Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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