Two goldfish are in a tank.
One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
How is a police car like a women?
It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
Vote:
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's?
The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
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Yo momma is so fat she was walking down the street, tripped and broke her leg and gravy rolled out.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she got stuck in the great outdoors.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she couldn't identify a picture of her feet.