A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?
A: Stinkerbell!
Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.
One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night!
She went on and on and wouldn't stop!
The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen.
How do you do that? Says the other.
It's easy! I turn off the light!
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.