I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces.
It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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