The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food?
A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces.
It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
