Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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