Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A passing police car pulled over. As the policeman got out he heard the lawyer shouting, 'my mercedes, my brand new mercedes!" As the policeman approached he was shocked to notice the lawyer's right arm missing. ''Do you realize your arm is gone?'' asked the policeman? The lawyer, stunned, began to scream, "My rolex, my brand new rolex!"
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing? Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.