Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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"I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money."
"Why do you say that?"
"Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25'."
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone.
After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
“Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer.
“Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter.
“In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’.”
“But that won’t let people know who it is!” protested the lawyer.
“Sure it will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible!”