Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living.
Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer.
He puts the bad guys in jail."
Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor.
He makes all the sick people better."
All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.
Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?"
Johnny says: "My Dad is dead."
"I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?"
"He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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