Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
Lawyer was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."
Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing? Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."