What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper? They need a map.
Yo momma’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
Wife to husband: ‘You certainly made a fool of yourself last night. I just hope nobody realised you were sober.’
Yo mama is so ugly that when I showed a picture of my ass they said they are twins!
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says, "Yes, I Love them." Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?" Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused" Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"