A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job...
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don't have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".
He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer.
He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says "Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved".
A gorilla walks into a pub, pulls up a stool, and orders beer.
The bartender gives him a mug and says, "that'll be five bucks."
As the gorilla reaches for his pocket, the bartender adds, "you know, we don't usually get many gorilla customers in here."
The gorilla shrugged and replies, "at five bucks a beer, it's no wonder . . ."
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention.
It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk.
"What do you call it?"
"A fottle, replies the inventor."
"A fottle?
That's a stupid!
Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it.
I've got something else though.
It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude.
You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
Why do milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
Vote:
Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ?
A fifty pound note !
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
Vote:
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Vote: