Yo' Mama is so stupid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
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Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
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Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ?
A fifty pound note !
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis.
He says to the doctor "My penis is too small."
Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch."
So the man thanks the doctor and leaves.
He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch.
Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy.
A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker.
"Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"