Did you hear about the drunk who thought Alcoholics Anonymous meant drinking under an assumed name?
The Australian rugby team is being driven through Dublin.
The driver shouts out, ‘And if you look to your left you’ll see we’re going past the biggest pub in the city.’
A voice from the back shouts, ‘Why?’
Our baby looks just like me.
But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar, and says to the barman, ‘I want you to call me David Hoff.’
‘Sure,’ says the barman.
‘No hassle.’
What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have been sightings of Bigfoot.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts!
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film?
A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that.
I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?