A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half!