Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.