Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.