Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much.
Chuck Norris throws down!
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win.
Period.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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