Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he did'nt like, now we know him as the headless horseman.
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