Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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