Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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