Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
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