Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.