What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half!
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much." The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house." The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two." The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two." The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
The dinosaurs aren't extinct. They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head? Steer phones.
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"