What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes? The back of her head.
What’s blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette…? A blonde doing cartwheels.
I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered.
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
He was so mean he used to give his children £1 each instead of an evening meal, then charged them £2 for breakfast.
How do you determine a blonde’s IQ? With a tyre gauge.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.