Best jokes ever

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
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has 42.33 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, military, office
How do you starve a black person? Put their food stamps under a job application.
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has 42.32 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: racist
Gods walking around heaven taking a stroll and sees a little black baby all sad and depressed sitting on a curb, God asks him whats wrong the black boy says i wanna be a angel, so God snaps his fingers and the boy gets wings he is all excited, and he says am i an angel? God says NO NIGGA YOU A BAT!
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has 42.27 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: racist
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, money
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
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