Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Are you gonna eat that?
We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Q:What's the most dangerous job in America? A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.