A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign.
The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?"
The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop."
"But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?"
"The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer.
"But I slowed down!" replied the motorist.
The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way.
I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it.
After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Yo momma’s so fat, she sells shade in the summer.
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Vote:
My husband has a split personality – and I hate both of them.
Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
Because she wanted to test the waters!
Yo momma’s so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out of a window.
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water!