Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
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What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike?
Because she didn't have any arms.
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.