Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign.
The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?"
The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop."
"But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?"
"The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer.
"But I slowed down!" replied the motorist.
The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way.
I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it.
After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Yo momma’s so fat, she sells shade in the summer.