Yo mama is so fat she got on a scale and it said: One person at a time please!
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself?
He’s smoking a cigarette.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude.
He has a personality you can't handle.
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A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news.
“The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her.
“Why is that great,” her friend asked.
“It’s snowing today!”
No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money.
Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.