Best jokes ever

Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 31.94 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
Vote: has 31.93 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Vote: has 31.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
Vote: has 31.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hipster, light bulb, mean
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
Vote: has 31.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
Vote: has 31.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
Vote: has 31.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, relationship