A newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon. Two days into the weeklong trip, the wife goes to the front desk and demands a car to take her to the airport. A few hours later, the husband strolls past the front desk. The manager asks why his wife has left the island. "Were you not having a good time?" The man replies, "Well, I've been having the best time of my life, but it's been with the maid."
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’ Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’
This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight. She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?" The doctor replies, "Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!" She says, "WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?" The doctor says, "Next time your ordered food."
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.