Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Q:What's the most dangerous job in America? A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
Your mama's so stupid when she saw a bus with lots of white kids in it she said stop that Twinkie.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.