How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
CNN tells about every disaster around the world. CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
Yo mama so fat when she went to outer space NASA thought they discovered a new planet.