Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Vote:
Discussion between two future lawyers:
I don’t understand why they rejected me!
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients.
What did you tell them?
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands!
You’re hands?
What do you mean?
Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Vote:
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Vote:
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."