Best jokes ever

Your momma so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran out with a spoon!
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A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
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Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
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More jokes about: military
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
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More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting, health
Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage. ‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her. ‘Then you should leave your husband.’ ‘I would,’ says Beryl. ‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’
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More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political, work
Patient: "Doctor, I have to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind. Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?" Doctor: "You see, I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc."
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More jokes about: doctor, money
Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, soccer


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