This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on.
The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?"
The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?"
The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on.
The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones."
Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?"
And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"
Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like muffing your sister, it tastes the same but something's not right about it.
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’
‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend.
‘No,’ replies the woman.
‘He wants to be cremated.’
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How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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Every fact added to this site makes Chuck Norris more powerful.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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