Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Vote:
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Vote:
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Vote:
"Yo momma so stupid she steals free bread!"
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
Vote:
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
Vote:
Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
Vote: