A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
A Kentuckian entered the US Army and was in his first week of basic training. He lived in the back hills and was not used to the modern amenities. On the first day, he was issued a comb. On the second day they sent him to the barber to cut off his hair. On the third day he was issued a toothbrush and toothpaste. On the fourth day he was sent to the dentist and they pulled ten of his teeth. On the fifth day he was issued an athletic supporter. On the sixth day he went AWOL.
Q: How did the sand get wet? A: The sea weed!
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.
There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman. And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.