What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide and seek champ.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before a crime, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after a crime, we call him a defence lawyer.
How do blonde brain cells die? Alone!
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.