Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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Q: What is long and hard to a blonde?
A: Fourth grade.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive?
A furrari.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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The soldier serving in Iraq was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.
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Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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