A married couple had gotten into an argument and for many days had not been talking to each other. Instead they were writing notes back and forth. One evening the husband walked up to the wife and handed her a note that said, “Wake me up tomorrow at 6 in the morning.” When he woke up the next morning it was 9. He immediately got angry with his wife and turned around to speak to her. On her pillow was a note that said, “Wake up, it’s 6!”
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
A newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon. Two days into the weeklong trip, the wife goes to the front desk and demands a car to take her to the airport. A few hours later, the husband strolls past the front desk. The manager asks why his wife has left the island. "Were you not having a good time?" The man replies, "Well, I've been having the best time of my life, but it's been with the maid."
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’ Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’