One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was. The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O". The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?" The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
The soldier serving in Iraq was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Q: Why do Mexicans have such small steering wheels in their car? A: So they can drive with handcuffs on.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.