Best jokes ever

Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
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Tom is walking home from the pub late one night when he takes a short cut across a cow field. Halfway across he drops his hat. He has to try on fifty others before he finds it again.
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What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone’s been in a 747.
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A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
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How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
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Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
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Out of courtesy, sharks never attack lawyers.
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If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
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What’s the difference between an insurance company actuary and a Mafia actuary? An insurance company actuary can tell you how many people will die this year, a Mafia actuary can name them.
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More jokes about: money