Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?'
'But I only have $8,' his friend replied.
That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?"
"That way", the student pointed.
''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.
Vote:
Whats the difference between a nigger and a large pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote:
Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly.
“Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”.
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing.
You know, a little peace and quiet?”
“Yeah. But today is the last day”.
What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
Vote: