Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors.
The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol.
The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half.
They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story.
Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?'
'But I only have $8,' his friend replied.
That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?"
"That way", the student pointed.
''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.
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Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!