Best jokes ever

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, women
A nigger goes to the doctor in South Africa. He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room. The nigger, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point: Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
Vote: has 31.42 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
Vote: has 31.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 31.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, prison
How do girls get minks? The same way minks get minks.
Vote: has 31.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, atheist, bar, catholic, priest
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred. She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock. After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder. So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, sex
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
There is a four story building. On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles. So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window. Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off. It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story. Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it. He then told his wife: Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
Vote: has 31.21 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty