Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
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My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw...
She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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