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Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
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Why did the man keep doing the backstroke? He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
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Harry, to Tom: ‘I went to the dentist this morning.’ Tom: ‘So does your tooth still hurt?’ Harry: ‘I don’t know; he kept it.’
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More jokes about: alcohol
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says, "sorry we don't serve snails" and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says,"What did you do that for!?"
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A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
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Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade four.
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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A very short painter walks into a Parisian bar and offers to buy his friend a drink. His friend, rushing out of the door, shouts, ‘Can’t stop now, no time Toulouse.’
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More jokes about: alcohol