Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.