How many blondes does it take to play tag?
One.
What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.
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Yo momma's so fat; she's got her own zip code!
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly.
“Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks.
“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”.
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing.
You know, a little peace and quiet?”
“Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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