Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Q: What do you call a black drinking out of the toilet? A: Pushing his luck.
Q:What did the black girl say while having sex? A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."