Best jokes ever

Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.

Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."

Yo mamma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.

Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.

Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.

Patient: "Doctor, I have to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind. Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?" Doctor: "You see, I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc."

A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"

Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.