Best jokes ever

What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? (A drizzly bear!)
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?" "Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"? "Guilty", said the man in the dock. Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!! At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?" He replied "He is my next door neighbor". The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments". The man replied "NO, your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn't have one"!!!
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of the pool? Air pockets.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: funeral, game, sport
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?" "A mongoose." "What for?" "Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection." "But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes." "That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men