Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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A Chuck Norris round house kick is considered the first "super-collider".
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant?
A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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