Best jokes ever

A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
Vote: has 32.30 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, science
"Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sunbath!
Vote: has 32.30 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote: has 32.30 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, heaven
One morning Lil Johnny walks into the classroom with no shirt on. Teacher looks at him and asks where he has been.Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill. The next day Johnny walks in with no pants on. Teacher looks at him and asks where have you been. Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill. The next day Johnny comes in completly naked. The teacher gasps and asks Johnny again where hes been. Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill. Johnny looks over his shoulder and sighs her she comes now.
Vote: has 32.26 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
Vote: has 32.18 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87. And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
Vote: has 32.17 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
Vote: has 32.12 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.
Vote: has 32.12 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says, "Yes, I Love them." Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?" Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused" Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
Vote: has 32.12 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, gay, stupid
She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
Vote: has 32.03 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex